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Expect much wailing and gnashing of teeth in Five's exposé of rogue dentist.
Pavlov's dog began to salivate when he rang a bell, conditioned to expect food when it heard the noise. A similar thing happens to many humans - as soon as you detect the excruciating high-pitched whine of a dentist's drill, it sets your teeth on edge. But why are we so terror-struck by dentists, especially when we need all the help we can get, given our traditionally less-than-perfect smiles? I mean, you've normally had a good dose of anaesthetic pumped into you before any excavations take place, so it shouldn't hurt. Read on, and you'll know. It seems that despite our fears there is a huge shortage of NHS dentists in the country, and many of us would give our eye teeth to get health service treatment. A new practice that opened in England reported 3,000 people queuing, some overnight, in an attempt to register during its first three days of business. So what can be done? Well, the government has announced recently that dentists will be recruited from abroad to bridge the gap. Great idea? Erm, not necessarily. The two women who opened the aforementioned practice came from foreign shores - one, a Dutchwoman, turned out to have been involved in a kidnapping, while the other, a Greek, wasn't even registered to practise. Celtic crusader Donal MacIntyre returns to our screens with a report that will rattle your fillings, exposing the failings in how dental practitioners are policed in Britain. (Those who are truly phobic about close-ups of hypodermic syringes being sunk up to the hilt into tender gums, or dentists' drills carving cavities out of rotten molars, should switch off now - I had to floss twice after watching it.) The motto of the General Dental Council is to protect patients and regulate dentists, but MacIntyre travels the country uncovering cases where patients have been seriously failed by the system that is supposed to protect them. Perhaps even more worrying than people having their teeth permanently damaged or removed by rogue dentists doing unnecessary work, and costing them thousands in the process, is hearing how the GDC deals with sex offenders in its ranks. MacIntyre compares two similar cases where a professional was convicted of child pornography offences - one an optician and one a dentist - and both received identical punishment by the courts. The Optical Council slapped its harshest sanction on its member and struck his name from the register. The GDC, however, dished out a mere 12-month suspension to the offending dentist, who will be back in practice four years before his name is removed from the sex offenders' register. Another dentist, who had been convicted of sexually assaulting patients while they were in the chair, was struck off after being jailed for nine months - but he was back at work less than two years later. But don't think charging off to the private sector will preserve your pearly whites. It turns out that there is no official body with powers to regulate private dentists - they're not even required to carry indemnity insurance. This means there is no redress if a patient receives shoddy treatment, unless they hire a lawyer - but if the dentist has no insurance anyway, you'll just have to grin and bear it. So what will you do next time you run your tongue around your mouth and find a dreaded cavity? Banish all thoughts of Dustin Hoffman in Marathon Man from your mind, lie back in the chair, open wide and say, "Aaargh!" Can You Trust Your Dentist?, Tuesday, Five, 8pm
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